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Friday, March 7, 2014

That's a Disease?

I did nothing to deserve this horrible disease.
     Classifying everything as a disorder or a disease is another way of saying nothing is anyone's fault.  What this does is essentially make a person who has made a series of horrible life choices a victim of forces beyond their control.  Thus taking away that person's power to change. I'm willing to concede that some people are genetically pre-disposed to weight gain or drug and alcohol dependency.  True, but that just means those people need to be more aware of the potential pit falls of a Whopper or smoking crack. Addictions are terrible and ruin lives. However they are choices and utterly preventable. Cancer is a real disease, agoraphobia is a disorder the following non-sense below is not.

Awww! Night time was due!!!!!
   If you took the Broncos to cover the spread for $500 in this year's Super bowl and you only had $50 to your name, not only are you an hand-job you may have pathological gambling disorder.  When you find yourself betting both sides of the same game so only one bookie kicks your ass, you got a problem alright.  Its' called mental retardation. There is no amount of pills or therapy that's going to keep a moron from betting against the sunrise because he got great odds and thought nighttime was due. Lying and stealing from your family to pay off Teddy K.G.B. before Grama fucks your shit up ain't a symptom of disorder.  It just means your an asshole.

    I'll be the first to admit super fit people piss me off. No, I'm not joining your crossfit group and I don't give a fuck how much gluten is in a muffin.  Nonetheless, those annoying pricks work hard.  They chose to get up at ungodly hours eat like cave men and do ridiculous shit.  That's what it boils down to... choice.  Have a psychotic aversion to physical exertion? Like brushing your teeth with a frosty and gargling with bacon grease? Do you have to bathe outside of your own fucking bath tub?  No, your not a disgusting human being and its' not your fault, you may have obesity disorder (government classification pending).  You know what's hard? Following a diet and getting regular exercise.  You know what's easy? Watching Maury, free basing Papa John's, sitting on your ample ass while collecting a disability check.

Why wouldn't an accountant need to achieve this level of fitness?

     Drug and/or alcohol dependence is every bit the choice overeating and betting on the weather are.  We all know addicts, and I genuinely feel for some of them. However, God did not smite you with some terrible affliction like an addiction disease because he doesn't like your hair cut. If he really hated you, you would have been born in Uganda.  You didn't wake up this morning with that bottle of Wild Turkey in your hand or that syringe in your arm.  You chose to pick them and if you work your ass off you can choose to put them down too.  It's a long road from smoking pot at a high school kegger to blowing Swifty in the sub-way bathroom for "smack." And guess what? It's gonna be along way back.

                                                    Anybody in here addicted to blow?

       Bottom line is, classifying asinine lifestyle choices as diseases or disorders is only going to produce more ludicrous classifications.  There's big money and legal protection in being a victim.  You'll find that out when they open a government methadone clinic across the street from your kids' daycare.  At any rate, if shitty decision making is a disease, I hope its' not contagious.  And if it is I apologize to anyone I had contact with from 1995-2006.

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